sunday….

I reread my diary from a few decades ago, I was waiting for JA (Jin Hu-A) in a small port town in the south, a resort town. Saint-Hu was not like Vladivostok or Rotterdam, not really. I had the same desires, the same expectations as then. In this damp cloudy day the person waiting is the same as the person waiting then. JA really did have a singular shadow, long and thin, I had <<>>searched his house and garden the day before<<>> My account, any account of waiting and then meeting him could have been written by any version of me from. when I was twenty through to thirty, possibly longer. The similarity strikes me as strange , though I know what became of JA, you cannot imagine. Anyway what became of me? You cannot imagine what desires get you lost (not joy) nor perdition, though this is slightly stranger to recognize <<?>> It’s more something terrible which I cannot understand, which was for me born in the union with another bdy and is then vanished. I cleaned my things on the table, reassembled it and then cleaned the table, and then the notification that he had arrived back arrived.