hokkido in january, a few months before , minus [-]5 months

[Tell me more about Hokkido, you always say it was the strangest job of all…] My life in south-east asia was approaching its end, I was 29 and would be 30 soon. It was january or march, maybe april, I stayed in a hotel, the last night I slept in the car, watching them. In the late afternoon I left them being covered by blanket of falling snow. There was a bag of money, large denomination notes, some bank books, bank cards, diamonds and carrying them I walked down the hill towards the car, it was snowing heavily, already filling my footprints behind me. I put it all in the back under the seat in the gauss box. The war had been running for about twelve months, I had no idea how many people had died in the war, they had given me a week for this job, I carried it out in five days. The weather was as cold and awful as any winter day in northern Hokkido could be. I drove across country and eventually reached Tomahae on the coast and began to drive southwards. A few hours passed and eventually I felt hungry, changed my clothes and turning on the satnav, drove into a small village about half a mile from the shore. It was cold but dry and snowless here.

I parked the car on one of the four approach roads to the town square, each corner of the square had an approach road. It seemed quite empty. I got out of the car, put on my overcoat and adjusted things until I felt comfortable. Whilst walking into the square, looking up there was a child, flying though the air. It flew back and hovered about two or five metres above me and was facing me, towards the square. We looked at each other, I waved at it, saying something like “hello, that looks fun…” and walked on into the square. I walked across the square, I remember that it was surprisingly warm perhaps ten degrees or more, the child flew over me and into the top floor of the blocks opposite, landing on a balcony and disappearing inside. I sat down in the cafe, the shaman approached and sat down opposite me.

The Shaman was dressed in a silk shirt and denim jeans, with a nice padded jacket. Hello. Can i tell your fortune ? Yes, but let me order some food though as I’m starving. I think I ordered miso soup with fish, udon noodles and some vegetables, but who knows as memory is so fallible. Does that guy always look at people so fiercely ? I asked her. Gesturing at a man staring at us, me, I supposed. He can’t help it, he is the child’s father. Oh I see, that’s fine, it’s fine, I am not going to tell anybody about it. He feels very protective.

The shaman was holding her hand and looking at the palm. Looking at the very long lifeline. Listening to the echos of a life. Messages from the future and the past. He can believe me, as long as his child is not like me he’ll be perfectly safe, besides its safer for everyone if they believe me. I looked out the window at the child who was now floating in the middle of the square about four metres above the ground, it was laughing as it swooped around the square. The child was seriously damaging my belief in the the the conservation of motion and thermodynamics. Shrugged and ordered some more tea. Are you going to tell anyone about what you have just seen ? No. Why not? People in their differences are generally unequal, that is no reason to believe that the child should not be left to grow up happily. Unlike me for example whose differences should be oppressed. repressed. I think they were refugees who try to live quietly in this place. The shaman stroked my hand, then took hold of the other one and looked at the unusually clear love line. It echoed quite clearly from the future as she held her hand. We talked for a few minutes about how difference and equality were not contradictory notions.

I see a change in the nature of violence in your life soon. In the not too distant future you will be happier. You’ll stop being so alone. Perhaps you’ll even feel safer. [Was she talking about me ?] [Yes. She was right as well as I do feel safer, happier.] That would be nice, unlikely though as I cannot imagine them allowing me to change. It won’t be upto them. They will be unable to do anything (by) but accept the change. I am a stochastic, others here have other talents and abilities. Do you know what mine are ? Yes and I know that because I am holding your hand and giving you hope, and as a result you will never tell anyone about this, though I imagine you will tell him. The child did a loop the loop in the square. Flying children and a stochastic, nice, I wouldn’t have told anyone anyway. Perhaps I will come back for a holiday. No, the shaman said releasing her hand. you will not be able to I’m sorry. Will my future be nicer than the present? Yes and unexpected… they talked about other inconsequential things. The shaman liked the way the woman didn’t try and interrogate her about the future. I left after drinking the tea, crossing the square diagonally, before walking back to the car. I put the bag with the guns onto the passenger seat. [flying children, that’s extraordinary. I wonder where they came from] I think they were refugees from somewhere else.

Do I need to do anything? The man asked, watching her walk off. No, we musn’t. Just let her leave, we couldn’t stop her and she would leave bodies. Then others would come. Bodies? She doesn’t look. She’s an assassin, She thinks flying children and stochastics are better than having too many people like her. She’ll go, not tell anyone about this and eventually in the near future become happy. Actually she will tell the man she meets later. He won’t care as he loves her. That’s as far as I can extrapolate… She has stopped on the far side of the square and is looking at the flying child, the woman is saying something to it. The child’s mother is standing next to her, they are both laughing. And she isn’t nice? No not at all, there are very few people who ever think she is nice, she doesn’t know any of them now. She is an assassin but isn’t interested in harming us. She will even have fond memories of us. She calls her daughter after me. Her daughter will visit us one day. Did you tell her your name, I didn’t hear you say that. It’s fine, I understand how fluid time is for you.No, she imagines that the name is the same as mine, which is enough for her. Later this year, far away from here she will think she is the luckiest woman alive.

I drove south towards Sapporo and then beyond to the ferry, the radio on listening to pop music for hours. Happiness, not to be alone. Such a slim chance but I can hope I thought, I reentered the war as soon as I drove off the ferry.